Doing The Right Thing Isn't Always Easy

I would love to start this blog off by telling you all that this has been the best year of my life. However, it would be more than just a slight fabrication. I don't want to sound drab, but the truth is I've been dealing with some trials, and I've faced my fair share of challenges. But, that's all a part of living, right? Of course it is. If you've read any of my other blogs, you know I'm no stranger to trials and tribulations, but I'm no quitter either. With all of that said, it's mid-April and this year alone, I've dealt with the loss of two very important people in life. They both transitioned within three weeks time. So, I have a void in my heart that has left me feeling a little empty but the love I have for them keeps me going knowing they are both resting well in a better place.

Some days my plate is so full, the load gets so heavy, and I get overwhelmed with my responsibilities, tasks, and routines. There are days when I want to go off on social media, I feel like cussing, and I want to do whatever is going to please my flesh. Yes, I do feel like this at times. However, I'm at the point in my life where I am thinking before doing, more often than I did when I was in my 20s or even five years ago for that matter. Although, I want to sometimes run away from life and create a new satisfying one for however long, I know that a temporary "fix" will not fix anything. It's easy to say to yourself and to others, "do the right thing." Believe me, I say it a lot to myself, my kids, and to others I'm close to. I guess because, there was a time in my life where it seemed as if I constantly gravitated towards doing the wrong thing. Those decisions caused a great deal of suffering for me. I learned a lot of lessons the hard way, and some decisions have had lasting effects.  Don't get me wrong, I still have to have talks with myself ( and certainly with God) about staying on the right path. Temptation is everywhere and it knocks on my door harder when it seems as if my world is topsy turvy. But that's just like the devil, isn't it? There was a time in my life where I wouldn't have thought twice about doing some of the things that I steer clear of doing today. Some would say that shows my growth and maturity. And , I will agree. However, I just know that those wrong decisions I made NEVER WORKED OUT for me. I seriously think about what will I gain if I do this or that. And more importantly, what will I lose and/or miss out on if I do.

Doing the right thing can be an uphill battle. And it's hard when you see those you love on a path of destruction. You know nothing good will come from the decisions they are making, but they won't hear what you're saying. The hardest thing to do is let go, let God and let them go through it. I had my epiphany on constantly making wrong choices, and I'm glad I did. Wrong choices leads to feeling empty, lonely, despair, uncertainty and it disconnects you from God. I try as a parent, and as a leader to those around me, to instill positivity while being transparent as much as possible. However, we are all individuals and we all know that experience is the best teacher. I just pray and hope that my experiences and those of my loved ones comes from making wise, healthy choices.

It Takes Courage To Be Real

I know yall are wondering where I've been. It's been a long time since I've blogged. To be quite honest, I've been here, there, and everywhere; no, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Well, I'm coming back to myself, and I have a lot I'd like to talk about.

The new 21st century slogan (well one of them at least) is "Be Real." I social network very heavily. It's what I like to do and I get a lot of good information from it. However, I see people being called out all the time for being fake, unreal, lying, and just for whatever. Everyone wants everyone to be real. And, I agree people shouldn't be lying to others about anything, I also believe that people should be honest with themselves.

A couple of months ago I attended a social event for a women's empowerment group I'm a part of called Stilettos on the Pavement. The guest speaker mentioned that she picked up a book by a known journalist in my hometown named Sally Ann Roberts. Sally Ann mentioned in her book that it takes courage to be real. As I allowed that to sink in, I had my own little private epiphany. I said, she is absolutely right. People say they want your realness, but are they ready for it? More importantly, are you ready for your realness? I'll be the first to admit, I'm not always ready for what's real with me. But, at some point, I have to face it, own it, stop running from it and deal with it. However, until I am ready to deal with my own real, I can't give it to you. Because if I'm not ready for it, then you definitely won't be. Being real sounds good when you're telling a person to just be real with you, you can handle it. I know what I'm talking about because I received a dose of realness lately that I thought I was ready for, but when it was given to me, I quickly realized that it was more like sour grapes. Although it was necessary, it left me in a place where I was forced to deal with some of my own reality. More often than not, people fabricate situations,  and circumstances to hide the pain of their own bleak reality. It's easier to post a picture of your happy marriage, big house, and new shoes, than it is to actually deal with the problems that actually exists.  When a person gathers the courage to be real, they are making the steps to be accountable, responsible, and take charge of their life. It's not always an easy thing. Because sometimes, what we discover about ourselves and others, can be a harsh reality. However, it is better to be honest with yourself and with others. Being real is a spiritual cleansing. It's soul satisfying and it's weight lifting. But you have to be ready and prepared for it. Sometimes being real may cause you to lose some people. But it's worth it, if you find yourself in the process. So before you go calling out people for not keeping it 100 as the young people ( and the old ones too) like to say, make sure you are being that very thing you are calling them out for.

~Tasha Mac

I Wish I Had Never Had Sex

I know some of you looked at the title and was like what in the world is this chic talking about, she wish she'd never had sex. And, I'm cool with that. I understand that sex is a very real and important part of human nature. After all, it is at the very bottom on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs chart alongside breathing and food. So, I get that it is pretty important. In actuality, I don't wish I had never had sex. I am a mom of four beautiful girls and one beautiful granddaughter. And, I would never have had any of them if I were still a virgin. However, do I wish I had waited a lot longer? Most definitely.

I recently participated in a podcast with Jay Mayo, the host of Right to R.E.A.L. Love and the title was the same as this blog post. In the podcast, I talked about the pain and dissatisfaction that had come as a result of unwise sexual experiences. I described to Jay the desire to be loved and to feel love.  I thought seeking comfort in the arms of a man would make me feel pretty, make me feel wanted and/or at least make the hurt of rejection I felt from my biological dad go away. However, I was wrong. All of those bad feelings were compounded because I didn't know what I know now. First of all, I didn't know the love of God and I didn't know how to love myself. I also told Jay that the vagina is the greatest source of pleasure, and also the greatest source of pain for women. Naturally, he wanted me to expound on that comment. I will also do the same for you all. Physical intimacy can be a very beautiful experience. Two people who are in love wholly, totally, and deeply coming together to express their love with this act that God intended for husband and wife can be amazing. The vagina is also the gateway for humans to born into this world. Now, on the flip side; the greatest source of pain part; we have shared the most sacred part of ourselves with someone who may not remember our names the next day, may not want to remember our names, or they are not ready to commit to us the way we absolutely want them to. And for some women, what will they do? They will keep on sharing their bodies with this undeserving man with the hopes that he will change his mind one day.

I met an older guy when I was 18 years old on Mardi Gras Day. He was the cousin of my best friend. I was hanging out with her family for the day. We all had a good time. The guy and I exchanged numbers. He actually was living out of town at the time. Fast forward a month or so later. He comes back in town. I was so excited to see him again. I put on the best outfit I had. I couldn't wait for him to pick me up. I'm thinking we are going out to dinner, and perhaps do something fun like walk in the French Quarters. Imagine how I felt when he picked me up and we went straight to a hotel room. We never discussed going to one, and honestly (even though it was many moons ago) I don't remember us discussing having sex. I didn't object, I didn't say one word against being there. Because in my mind, I thought he really liked me and we were a couple. So, I stayed the night with him. And, we did become a long distance couple. But that relationship brought me a lot of heartache and pain. Looking back, as I think about this story from time to time,  and how I set myself up for that pain . I was an 18 year old girl smitten with a 27 year old guy.

I wasn't sure if I would include that story into this post. I didn't discuss it on the podcast. But, I hope that maybe it will help someone, perhaps another young girl make better choices. I'm not nearly the emotional, insecure, unsure of herself, low-self esteem having person I was years ago. I don't want to come across like I'm Mother Theresa either. I've had my share of mistakes even in adulthood when it comes to sex. However, I'm at a place in my life where, I don't want to feel the pain that has resulted in some prior sexual experiences. My prayer is that I continue to wait on God to send me a husband whom I can share my total self with; mind, body and soul. I pray that we all make wise choices when it comes to physical intimacy. It is not a decision to be taken lightly.

To hear me go into depth on this subject, listen to my podcast with Jay Mayo by clicking the link below.

I Wish I Had Never Had Sex